Saturday, January 1, 2011
"The Holidays are Officially Over"
So here I am wondering about J.Edger Hoover. It was his birthday yesterday. I know this because he was featured on some random quote page, and I just noticed the clock slipping past midnight. I know there is a long night ahead. Of drinking coffee and energy drinks and chain smoking until my lungs putrefy. I guess to be honest I feel a comradere with that old cross dressing dictator. The want to be feared and respected. He got his by wielding an iron limp wrist, and I am an asshole to random religious people on the internet.....don't judge me...it's good clean fun.
Which I guess is ironic since I have deep spiritual roots that will never go away. It is as much of a strength as it is a chip on my shoulder. Maybe it's my little way of saying "See, I don't take faith and spirituality too seriously". I'm sure it is much in the same way ol' edgar could say "I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce", and then puts on a dress to give a reach around to a man who wears his pants entirely to high for his own good. Well, I guess it made him feel sexy.
Speaking of sexy, how about that Jesus? I figure if the huddled masses are going to pretend it's his birthday...I can pretend thats how his parties go. I like our pagan holidays though. I've never been a big fan of the Jesus mythos...but I love the god of Saturn! Getting together in the coldest months of the year to make everything bright and colorful, to the tune of a mass orgy where anything goes...sounds a lot like some of the parties I used to go to. You know, the kind that you attend when your doing drugs and haven't become boring and responsible. I guess the point I am driving at is that I am a believer. I believe in mysteries and patterns. I believe in the exploration of the never ending branches on the tree of science. I think we could become God someday....you never know. I like to think that there is a being who has a plan that makes sense of the things that are senseless and cruel in this world. I like to think that he doesn't cause them, or just let them happen because we are his ant farm to alleviate boredom.
At the end of the day though, you have to take stalk in whats important. Which is being able to laugh at things and find the joy life has to offer, while bearing the bullshit which inevitably comes your way. Choosing your battles and letting the little stuff go. Meandering this semi cluster fuck of wonderment and ass raping without lube that we call life. We can loose ourselves in existentialism until the cows come home. We can grit our teeth at the unfairness of this world....or we can just do the best we can to be a good human being.
That is to say good, as in I don't give two shits about your sexual preferences, or if you want to worship the invisible man in the sky....or your hamster. Just try to take care of the people you love, and be someone who is a positive force to the world around you. So even if people hold prayers at work, or push pamphlets about Jesus having a hard on for me, I let it go. For starters I started eating early anyways and hurt gods feelings(gluttony, selfishness, and rebelliousness....im a triple threat), and also it doesn't hurt me. Just like someone wanting to build a mosque by ground zero. As far as Im concerned they are all just worshiping and searching for the same thing, even the scientists crushing atoms hoping to find the god particle. At worst, we are nothing more then glorfied apes crushing nuts with pebbles...and hopefully we are just in the shaky humble beginnings of amazing things to come. I haven't yet lost hope in the human race....or myself to find grandeur...or redemption.