Hello all. I write this mostly to Sam, and for his friends. Let me tell you, this guy has come a long way. Not that I don't find him lacking at times, but his last post really took the venom out of my desire to torture him. Sometimes people really do learn..and change. Not that I couldn't rip him a new one right now...but you know what...it's Christmas. Not only that, I feel as if we have come to an understanding of each other...and I think Sam is finally starting to understand himself. Why has Natas taken the helm then? Well, Sam is not himself. Funny isn't it. He is in love with probably the only girl in the world he is capable of loving, he isn't homeless this time around, and he has people that love and care about him...and yet he is at a loss of words. I'm just being cynical, were actually as thick as thieves. But sometimes, when life shows it's ugly side, everyone needs a little Natas to scare it back. Sam knows this. He doesn't fear me anymore. Sometimes you have to let your shoulders back and tell the world you will fuck it up if it doesn't leave you alone. The world isn't all bad...in point of fact...I think it has more good then the things that go bump in the night. But sometimes, you have to let me free inside. I let the world know that a kind and good person...doesn't mean that you are a person to be fucked with. I am the yin to the yang, the omega to the alpha(but only because sam's narcissism makes him claim alpha status at all times...even in my hour to shine...awww can't help but love this bastard) I think it goes to show that sam isn't perfectly healed yet. After all, none of us should take turns posting our thoughts...but at least we aren't fighting each other to the death anymore...baby steps you know. So instead of personal problems...let's blame it on the holidays. After all, Christmas was originally a week dedicated to the god of Saturn for lascivious rites of celebration. Although Sam would say, it is a good thing to get together with those you love, and let you know how much they matter to you for whatever the reason...I say look at all the holiday drunks...and the upturn in suicide rates this time of year. You know what though? Maybe I am just scared. Because sam doesn't need me as much as he used to. I am a part of him...just like I share lives with many of you...but it seems like sometimes he has control of me...and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I guess I got my own problems too...blame my soft side on "A christmas story"...im a sucker for a good christmas movie...and I form bonds with all of you. All I can say is never take me for granted. Sometimes I am needed to protect you, and sometimes I overstep my bounds...but I only do so because you force me into it. Go to the dark places in your soul, and look at yourself realistically, and without bias one way or another. If at the end of that you aren't happy with what you see...then take heart that you are looking at with the want to change. If you are happy with yourself...good, but don't let it go to your head. I bring tidings of good cheer, happiness, and balance. Natas is not your enemy if you are trying to keep balance(and yes, I speak of myself in third person...I blame it on Sam and his hopeless narcissism god love him) Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good fright! Just kidding...enjoy a little harmless fun and lying to your children about a man that makes everything better...haha what a bitch am I!
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